When my character was in this situation, he only set the orc overseer on fire, and encouraged the kobolds to surrender. Which they promptly did to my scary gnome cleric.

RT @RinaTheShark@twitter.com

GM: You see a kobold in a corner of the chamber, poking a rock with a stick

Wizard: I cast fireball

GM: The kobold raises it's stick. Countering your fireball. The kobold cast fireball. You take 47 points of damage.
You go unconscious.

Wizard: Wh...

GM: How does it feel.

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/RinaTheShark/statu

Okay, I wasn't totally stunned by the British exit polls, but THIS stuns me.

RT @JamesDMorris@twitter.com

McDonnell on the BBC trying to say it’s all Brexit. But that doesn’t explain how Boris Johnson is more trusted than Jeremy Corbyn on the NhS

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/JamesDMorris/statu

This is more than I thought they'd get. Brutal for Labour, but not wholly surprising.

RT @britainelects@twitter.com


Con: 368 (+51)
Lab: 191 (-71)
SNP: 55 (+20)
LDem: 13 (+1)

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/britainelects/stat

...I think I may need a lawyer next year.

RT @nickluvsari@twitter.com

search your name and the second gif to come up and thats how 2020 will be for you🀭

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/nickluvsari/status

NO. BAD YOTES. Don't make me get the newspaper!

RT @TheOnion@twitter.com

Man Relaxing His Overwhelming Anxiety For Just A Moment Finally Gives Pack Of Coyotes The Opening They Need trib.al/lNRrgPn

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/TheOnion/status/12

A very special episode of Sesame Street.

RT @alain_hardy@twitter.com

@Vanvidum@twitter.com Now I want to see an episode where only Big Bird can see the Bloodletters.

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/alain_hardy/status

Any guesses as to what Connecticut pie is made of? Google has failed.

RT @TweetsofOld@twitter.com

Dear Sante: I want a engine, nuts, and connecticut pie. good bi. -Cornelius p.s. you make them googoo eyes but i eat connecticut pie


πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/TweetsofOld/status

Cats have been doing this ever since there was ink and something to write on.

RT @heikala_art@twitter.com

something coming this weekπŸ‘€πŸ‘€βœ¨ stay tuned!

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/heikala_art/status

No more than what any of us expected, really.

RT @TheOnion@twitter.com

New β€˜Sesame Street’ Character Shudders To Life As Producers Complete Ritual To Imprison Damned Soul Within Puppet trib.al/1wm81kB

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/TheOnion/status/12

Vanvidum is a very old name by internet standards, but is only my second. My first name will remain lost to the abyss for all time, no matter what torture I must endure.

RT @heyshanmurphy@twitter.com

what was your first internet name you went by... mine was aangie, taken directly from the kyoshi island episode of ATLA

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/heyshanmurphy/stat

Today's top question: EEL TAXES.

RT @greenleejw@twitter.com

So you're a medieval landlord, collecting property rent from your peasants in eels. How do you measure them?

Eels were usually counted in units called sticks (25 eels) -- likely from the number of eels you can smoke on a stick at one time. 10 sticks of eels was called a bind.

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/greenleejw/status/

When you make a mistake at work, always remember that it probably wasn't really that bad by comparison.

RT @AeroDork@twitter.com

December 12, 1959: The explosive bolts holding a Titan-1 to the launch pad set off the self-destruct safety charges in the first stage. Technicians placed the charge relay too close to a vibration-prone area, triggering a detonation when the bolts holding the rocket down blew.

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/AeroDork/status/12

Reclining next to a swarm of crabs is just asking to be devoured in the style of a horror movie.

RT @NaturelsWeird@twitter.com

As they have no natural predators, an estimated 43 million red crabs migrate across Christmas Island during the breeding season each year.

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/NaturelsWeird/stat

One of the wolves might actually be a coyote.

RT @Webster_Duck@twitter.com

Inside every man is two wolves. One of them is like "Get Mexican food at 1AM" and the other is like "No don't." This is a terrible metaphor.

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/Webster_Duck/statu

Don't wear clown noses around hooded seals.

RT @41Strange@twitter.com

Male Hooded Seals have an inflatable nasal membrane that expands like a red balloon to attract females. The rules are simple and straight forward. The male with the biggest balloon wins.
(Photo: Doug Allen)

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/41Strange/status/1

As I have said: Birds are agents of chaos, and they know it.

RT @StabBaratheon@twitter.com

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/StabBaratheon/stat

How many parts do you have to replace in Theseus' phone before you've just replaced his phone?

RT @AlessTheTiger@twitter.com

Anyone fancy a flamed X? It fell into a firepit, but customer wants it repaired anyway...

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/AlessTheTiger/stat

Modern students, especially of the humanities and liberal arts, don't learn nearly enough geometry. Plato is frowning at all of you.

RT @Rainmaker1973@twitter.com

Can a triangle have three right angles? Yes, on a curved space like a sphere. This is also one of the reasons we know the Earth is round buff.ly/2qEwKpQ

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/Rainmaker1973/stat

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